Closet Diaries

When I was a lot bigger, my clothes were very expensive. I can still fit the clothes that I wore but it looks very big on me. A part of me always wanted to get rid of them and then the other part of me didn’t. This weekend I am going through my whole closet and getting rid of things that fit me super big because I feel that in my mind I don’t want to go back to the size I was. I guess you can say it’s another weight loss tactic for the weight to stay off. No more hoarding onto clothes that is way too big. This past weekend I did an event with my sister for our business and I was running late so I just grabbed a pair of jeans and without thinking about it, when we got there they were so big on me. These jeans were purchased in December and they were very tight but fitted and now I can stick my whole arm on the side of them and still have room. I still find myself buying clothes that fit big because I don’t like clothes tight on me. I really want to get over that fear of caring what people will think if I were certain item because I am the one who’s putting in work in the gym and I am the one who eats clean and the opinion of someone else shouldn’t even play into factor of what I do and don’t wear. Yesterday I looked in the mirror and the shirt I had on fit me like a dress. That’s when I came to the conclusion that I need to donate all the clothes that doesn’t fit me anymore. For me, this is a bittersweet feeling because I’m saying goodbye to pieces of me. Every time I was sad about my weight I went shopping. I bought clothes on top of clothes. Lately I’ve been buying clothes but it’s because I hardly have stuff to wear besides gym stuff. I tried on all the shorts I had from last spring break and they’re all super big. I will say I’m nowhere near where I want to be with my weight loss but I’m getting closer and closer as the months go by. I recently started eating how I’m supposed to and at first it was scary because I’ve always had a weird relationship with food. When I was bigger I over ate and now that I lost weight I wasn’t eating enough. So that just made me not want to eat and now with my new diet plan it just makes everything easier. I know my posts lately have been all about me but I will eventually get back to makeup related items. Since I hardly wear it, it’s hard to try new things. I am uploading some new skin care this week so look for that on Saturday.
Thanks for keeping such good vibes on my blog lately. Hello to any new followers. I have received quite a bit new email followers so you guys are appreciated.
Until next time,
Love forever and always
Esswest

(here’s the shirt I looked at in the mirror yesterday)

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