It’s Gonna Be May

//Coming at y’all with another self love/weight loss/catching up with my life post. I feel like it’s been a hot minute since I’ve blogged and this is something that I don’t want to stop doing so if you missed me, then keep reading.

//So these past couple of weeks I’ve been struggling with my body image. I had someone take pictures of me at the gym and send them to my email to talk shit to me. They sent them anonymously and that’s sad because to be honest I’m strong due to how much I love myself but seeing that shit hurt. I got over it but today I was finally completely over it. I looked at myself in the mirror and reminded me that I’ve come a long way and as long as my goals are still in progress then fuck what anyone has to say. People can see me and think to themselves like okay she’s fat but I’m working my ass off everyday to get to a healthier me. Only I know how far I’ve come physically and mentally.
I’m getting stronger everyday, I’m beautiful, I’m funny, I can bake, my booty is soft, and I can probably lift heavier than you. I promised myself that this is the last time I was going to get sad over my body because I am doing a full body transformation and this shit doesn’t happen overnight.

//Side note: I start a new plan on Monday and I’m excited. I go back to eating chicken!! I’m lifting a lot right now and still doing cardio but I’m trying to build some muscle and I’m so tired of fish so it’s been almost a year without it and I’m nervous/excited to go back to it.

//So some other things that are going on in my life I finished another semester of school and I passed all my classes. I’m taking summer classes and I have another full semester and I’m finally out this bitch.

I just made three months with Eddie. I have been enjoying him and I still have my priorities together but now that he’s in my life he definitely is one of my priorities as well. But a relationship is all about balance and I’m glad that we are on the same page. There have been no lies in this relationship and I feel like that is huge for me. Little lies turn into big lies and I just love how honest we are with each other and whatever problems we have we talk through them like a normal healthy relationship should.

I have been working nonstop and the gym is still a priority. Eddie is my gym partner and every day I’m learning something new in the gym. I’m trying to get it to where I know every work out that we do together so that when he can’t come I can still lift and be confident in what I’m doing. I have seven weeks starting this coming Monday to drop the last of my 20 pounds to get to my goal of losing 100 by July.  I also want to say that losing 80 pounds so far looks different on everyone because everyone has different body types. So do not come for me and think I’m lying about my weight loss because I feel like I don’t need that negative energy around me. If  you’re the person that’s  sending me mean things to my blog or email and you want to send me things anonymously if it makes you feel better then I guess keep doing so. I know this journey that I’m on has changed me so much and I’m a lot stronger than who I used to be so, I’ll just keep praying for you because obviously if you need to go that low to make fake email accounts then, you need Jesus.

My mom’s birthday just passed and we threw her a fiesta and we all surprised her with a mechanical bull and that was amazing to see how happy she was from it.

Summer is around the corner and that means I’m going to be saving a lot of money and in September I am going to Vegas. I am also going to Seattle in July which is a little self-love trip and I’m really excited for that. I plan on going to a ton of Astro games over the next couple of weeks. I’m just happy and enjoying life and not letting negativity get me down or thoughts pop up in my head get to me. I also want to tell you guys that I have a whole Instagram on my weight loss journey so be sure to follow that. It’s @esswestlifts I have some transformation pics on there, some workouts on there as well and I also have some motivational quotes to get that ass in the gym.

//Going back to the beginning of this blog I wanted to share a picture of myself on here that has to do with self love. Before I would never post anything remotely like this on my Instagram because my arms are on there and my arms are the thing that I am most insecure about and sometimes I wish you can make certain fat go away in certain areas but again this shit takes time and I know that I’m not wasting any time because I’m putting in the work that I should be in the gym and with my eating. So enjoy my self love picture and I don’t really care that my tits are in them because they are always going to be there. I will say that lifting has lifted my boobs with chest day and it’s kind a cool to see that I’m building muscle.

//I’m doing a back to back post, so the next post is going to be my current gym playlist.
Followed by my skin care that I promised I was going to post but I finally got around to taking the pictures of what I was using.

//Until next time, love you guys the most




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